Kelvin Sampson; The Lost Texts

Over the past week or so Kelvin Sampson has been accused of sending over 400 text messages to potential recruits breaking NCAA rules. We at Hit For Average have uncovered some of the text messages that have been sent. The numbers have been removed to protect the people involved.

• 1-1-08 - lol im drunk! i <3>
• 1-8-08 - u need hgh? i have clemens' #
• 1-15-08 - come play for me. please!?
• 2-13-08 - misremember? sounds like a good excuse to me
• 2-14-08 - guess what im wearing right now...

As you can see he has a way with words. I guess it's against the rules, but I say keep up the good work Kelvin.

Brian McNamee Names New Juicers

The Teletubbies have been implicated in the lost pages of the Mitchell Report.

After this news was leaked the gay purple teletubbie died trying to hide used syringes in his rectum. The local sheriff was quoted saying "That is by far the gayest way to go, you know, being stuck in your ass."

The other 3 Teletubbies are now in custody being charged with possission with intent to distribute steroids and HGH.